“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
You’ve just been handed the reins of a new project or you’re stepping up to a shiny new promotion. There’s a fizz of excitement, a buzz of energy, and then…a knot of anxiety. Yes, you’re trusted, you’re considered capable, but now there’s this gnawing question: “Can I really do this?”
It’s a classic case: you’ve worked hard, proven your worth, and achieved that sought-after promotion or project lead role. It should be a time of unbridled joy, but instead, you’re visited by a host of worries. “What if I fail?” “What if they see I’m not as good as they thought?” “What if I can’t handle the pressure?” It’s the imposter syndrome talking, the fear of not measuring up, the dread of future challenges overshadowing your past accomplishments.
This is where the pain lies—in the gap between where you are and where you think you should be, between your current capabilities and the daunting expectations of your new role. It’s a chasm that many fear they’ll tumble into, a space where confidence wanes and self-doubt thrives.
Bridging the Gap with Dan Sullivan’s “Reverse Gap”
Enter the “Reverse Gap” mindset, the antidote to this all-too-common spiral. Dan Sullivan’s “Reverse Gap” model is detailed in the book “The Gap and The Gain,” which he co-authored with Dr. Benjamin Hardy. The book delves into the concept that while unsuccessful people focus on “The Gap” between their current state and their ideal state, successful people concentrate on “The Gain” — the progress they’ve made from their past state to the present.
The “Reverse Gap” isn’t just about positive thinking; it’s a strategic approach to confidence-building. Instead of fixating on the gap ahead — the distance between your present state and your goals — you turn around and look back. You survey the ground you’ve already covered, the hurdles you’ve overcome, the growth you’ve achieved. This retrospective glance isn’t just comforting; it’s evidence of your capability and resilience. This is also an opportunity to remember that your successes are not so much about what you knew or the experience you had when you started something new, but instead “Who You Are!”
How the “Reverse Gap” Builds Confidence
By focusing on your past achievements, the “Reverse Gap” mindset fosters a sense of progress. Remember learning to ride a bike? That first successful pedal without support wasn’t just about moving forward; it was the accumulation of every fall, every wobble, every moment of determination that came before it. The confidence to ride didn’t bloom from what lay ahead — the potential falls or the next challenging hill — but from recognizing how far you’d come from the starting point.
When you’re stepping into a new role or embarking on a fresh project, it’s this same acknowledgment of past growth that can swell your confidence. It’s understanding that each past challenge surmounted is a stepping stone that has prepared you for this moment. Yes, you’ll make mistakes — even seasoned leaders do — but each mistake is a lesson, an integral part of the journey that propels you forward.
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Applying “Reverse Gap” Thinking as a Leader
As a leader, your task is two-fold: to internalize the “Reverse Gap” mindset for yourself and to sow its seeds among your team. Here’s how you can do both:
- Celebrate Milestones: Regularly take stock of what you and your team have achieved. Celebrate these milestones openly. It reinforces the team’s confidence and reminds everyone of the collective capability.
- Narrate the Journey: Share stories of past challenges and how you overcame them. This doesn’t just put your own fears into perspective; it also gives your team a narrative of triumph and tenacity to connect with.
- Encourage Reflection: Foster an environment where reflection is a habit. Give your team time to look back on their own progress, to see how each member’s skills have evolved. This practice not only boosts individual confidence but also enhances team cohesion as everyone appreciates the collective journey.
- Normalize Mistakes: Cultivate a culture where mistakes are recognized as part of the learning process. When someone stumbles, remind them (and yourself) of the times when a misstep led to greater understanding and improvement.
- Lead with Vulnerability: Be transparent about your own “reverse gaps.” When you share your path, including the worries you’ve had and the errors you’ve made, it humanizes you and makes the goal of growth more accessible to your team.
- Set Incremental Goals: Break down larger objectives into smaller, achievable targets. Each small win is a confidence boost and a tangible reminder of progress.
- Personal Growth Plans: Work with your team to create individual development plans that acknowledge past achievements while setting future goals. This personalized approach reinforces the “Reverse Gap” thinking at an individual level.
- Peer Recognition: Encourage your team to acknowledge each other’s growth. Peer validation is a powerful confidence builder and reinforces a positive team dynamic.
By integrating the “Reverse Gap” mindset into your leadership approach, you’re not just building your own confidence; you’re cultivating a team culture that values growth, recognizes effort, and celebrates the journey as much as the destination. This mindset helps everyone to see that the road to success is paved with learned lessons, not just the anticipation of future triumphs.
The “Reverse Gap” mindset keeps us grounded in the reality that where we’ve been is just as important as where we’re going, and that the true measure of our success is not just in the heights we reach but in the distance we’ve traveled from where we began.
“Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.” – Tina Fey
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